I am so confused . I have been thinking about him since that day .... it makes me feel so sick and disgusted every time i think about it . the first 3 days after what happened. i felt so weird. at random times my heart would beat so fast and it would give me a weird feeling kinda like nervous .. my hands would even sweat a lot. some times i would randomly out of no where even start crying ... I Just couldn't stop thinking of what happened that night and cant stop thinking about him .. it was so gross ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I Felt so sad and depress .. all my feeling where shown my face even my dad could see i was not happy.. but when he asked .. i said i was fine....
Its been a while since that day.. i feel fine not really getting those weird feeling any more.. but yet i still cant stop thinking of what happened that night and cant stop thinking about him..... the only thing i keeping thinking of is if my friend and him ever broke up.. cause within 24hr of that day i heard they broke up... one thing i was happy cause the guy to me was such a player. but the sad thing is i hope them breaking up has nothing to do with me..i was getting a bit scared if my friend new what happened that night
But apparently they didnt break up cause yesterday when i was hanging out with my friend she actually called him and asked if he want to come out and eat with us.. at the moment i pray he would not come.. i didnt know how i would face it if i saw him.. lucky he didnt show up.... Later at night he actually show up and the first thing i notice when i saw him was he and my friend were holding hands.. so that proves there still together. At that moment when i saw him i really wanted to run away and hide ... i really didnt wanna see him .. i really wanted to hide from him... good thing me and my other friend was about to leave ... infact my other friend didnt really wanna see him either... so i told my other friend and said i thought they broke up... the other day she was talking to me and she refer to him as his ex and i ask her if they broke up and she said yes .. but now i seem them together i dont get it ? so my other friend said.. yeah that wat she told me too .. she told me she was not sure if he turely love her and she also said she wanted to cut her self and bleed to death...
Ok i know its not my business to be caring about other people relationship but after what happend that night i was really scared that them breaking up had to do with me.... so i keep wanting to know there reason to why they would break up... praying that is not my fault....
I am still so confused.... i really wanna know what happen ... cause even today when talking to my friend she refer to him as his ex and not her boyfriend ... so really what happen ? i really should stop thinking about this and move on in life ...
OMG OMG OMG ... fung just came out with a new mando song.... its so good.... all his fans are going crazy over it.. i see it on forums, site , facebook , twitter , weibo, baidu etc. its just every where ..... will when i first heard the song it was ok i guess not really a big fan .. but now after listening to it many times the song is too addictive.. i just love the melody
the song is so sad and kinda depressing .. it sound like fung's crying/ sobbing when singing it .. and one thing i dont like is the way he is breathing .. its just a bit too much . sound a bit annoying . over all a really great song Enjoy !!!
Some times i wonder how people ends up being friends . 2 people who are total stranger to each other and then randomly one day they will be come friends ... Its just takes the effort of going up to that person and being the first one to start talking .. after talking to the other person u will know if he or she will be interested in being friends with you ....
thinking back ..... all the friends i have .. they came and talk to me first.. some times i do want to be the first one to approach them but i am such a wimp .... i guess i am not brave enough .....
so yesterday was my second day of class.. i still didint get to know the people in my class very will ... any way so few of my classmate i thought it would be nice if i made friends with them. but then after i found out something i just knew it wont work out
but i guess i kinda did in the end will i shared popcorn with him ... and he talked to me.. idk any ways he was nice i think i could end up making at lest one friend in this class even when this is a really weird class with people all different age .....
I saw this movie the other day and it was soooooo sad .. at first when my eyes got watery and i came to tears i thought i was just tired . it was late in the night around 10 -11 pm.... but then as i went on with the movie more and more tears came out of my eyes.. so i guess this movie was really sad.....
LOL after watching the movie i felt like updating my facebook status .. and haha i got the most funniest reply back ever ...
this movie is base on a book by Nicole spark. i kinda want go to the book store or library and get the book and read it ... idk y this movie was just good and i like the store line makes me want to read the book now .... i actually haven't read a book for my own liking in a really long time.. not really a person who like reading ... but i guess when something is really really good there always be something that will get u hook to it ...
OMG... i cant believe i have not update this in a really long time ...... for an odd reason i wanted to update this today...... its like 2:57 am.... right now and i dont even know y i am awake..and i have school tomorrow early in the morning..... i did go to sleep but a while after i went to sleep i heard something on the radio and it made me want to go on the computer and look it up lol...
So right now . its summer and every year in the summer time here in Vancouver ... there is this contest thing where we showed our talent .. will any ways .. i decided to audition for it this year ... will i already wanted to do it since last year but i was so scared .. so i didnt do it last year and i became brave and apply this summer...... this thing is called Sunshine Nation . you guys can check out it at its official web site http://ssn10.am1470.com/ ...
The audition was last Saturday the 17th .. in the audition we were to do a 30 sec.cat walk a 30 sec self intro and tell the judge a bit about our self and a 1 min thing showing our talent .... for the talent .. idk why i even pick this but i was singing...... .. omg omg omg .... i did so bad ..... 1. i was so nervous i studder when i talked..... 2 ... when i was singing i should have sang better,,, and a lot of people (like my friend and my bro )...knew i could draw and ask y i didnt do drawing and picked singing .....i should totally have just drew.. ( do like a on the spot quick sketch of the judge ) and when singing they totally cut me off omg .. 3. after singing they asked me 2 question ... i was so so dam nervous i had no clue what i was saying.. the first question they ask me was if i ever learn drawing like took lesson .. since i wrote that as my talent on the forum and they ask me what drawing i do ... then the second question they ask me .what dose Sunshine Nation mean to me or like what i think Sunshine Nation repercent ,,, ... that question i totally had no clue what to say .. i kinda blank out and studder so much ...
So one word... it was a failure ... i did so bad... i think i will try again next summer ..... i have like almost a year to prepare for something better . really need to work on my talent .. and need to be less nervous so i can talk better in front of judge . and since i already tried out .. i will know what to expect .. but one thing i worried is .. if the judge are the same people they might remember me and say something about me auditioning again .... so should i audition again ??? if ur reading this tell me what u think ....
o and yeah the reason y i woke up from my sleep to go to the computer was ...i heard that the 8 finalist for the Sunshine Nation 2010 was out .. they already pick the 8 people .. so i wanted to go check to see who they are .. and in my mind i was thinking on the audition day they said they will call us on Sunday if we get in .... i was thinking of next week Sunday and not the coming Sunday 18th ... but since the finalist are already out mean the 18th was when they called ..and since i didnt recall receiving a call from them that means i totally must have not got in ... sad ...
